Our ghetto DVD player has been on its’ last leg for quite awhile now. Numerous discussions have taken place about moving on and finally upgrading to something fancy: you know like the kind ritzy city folks own that do not freeze up every 5 seconds. After cutting in and out during a key moment in a romantic comedy, Jenn contemplated smashing the machine to smithereens and sending it to the big electronics store in the sky. The DVD player was unaware that absolutely nothing gets between Jenn and John Cusack.
Granted there are some benefits to the machine we own. Thanks to the player’s tendency to skip, the girls barely have time to get cozy on the couch in their PJ’s before a movie is over and it is bedtime. In a blink of an eye, Ariel goes from fin to feet in the Little Mermaid while Snow White somehow moves from rooming with 7 midgets to instantly living large in a castle with her prince. This piece of electronics has also saved me from enduring numerous chick flicks and for that I am forever grateful.
Don’t get me wrong, I know the time has come to read the DVD player its’ last rites. But, I just don’t have the strength to do so. The machine holds sentimental value, as it was the only man gift I took home from our wedding. Actually, Jenn was gracious enough to let me use gift cards to purchase it after our reception, but that is beside the point. Having received plenty of Bed and Bath, she realized I was close to ‘beyond’ the point of no return if I had to unwrap another mixer, kitchen utensil or smelly candle.
Maybe another reason I cling to the machine is for the fact it reminds me of how often I stumble over my words. Just like the DVD player, there seems to be no rhyme or reason to when my tongue goes into fast forward or reverse mode. When I find myself in a social gathering attempting to make small talk, my mind races over what to say while my words sputter out in slow motion. I notice a look of confusion coming from the person standing across from me as they attempt to follow the story as it skips from point to point. The conversation plays out so smoothly in my head. It is sharp, witty and always on point. Yet, the dialogue gets lost in translation during the execution. Pretty soon I give up, excuse myself and head towards the bathroom.
Then there are the occasions when life seems to be happening in slow motion while my words come out in warp speed. I watch them flow out of my mouth one by one, but before I can stop myself the closing credits are running with a path of devastation playing in the background. This time I receive a different look from the person standing across from me. It is one of heartbreak and pain. My words have caused hurt I cannot take back and wounds that will take time to heal. During these times of chatter, I wish life were like a DVD player and came with a pause and rewind button. It would allow me to be kind and rewind. Yes, I have a grasp on technology and realize you do not have to rewind your DVD’s. I was using some artistic liberty as an author to put a neat bow on this blog entry. So deal with it. There goes my fast forwarding mouth acting up again.