Curing 30 Years One Month At A Time

February 22, 2009

When Is The Government Going To Step In And Bailout My Love Bank?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — 30tocure30 @ 9:52 pm

 

Where's My Part Of The Bailout Money

Where's My Part Of The Bailout Money

 

 

It is hard not to fight the urge to act like Chicken Little and run through the streets screaming “The Sky Is Falling…The Sky Is Falling!” Everywhere you turn all you see and hear is grim financial news: a slowing economy, turbulence on Wall Street and rising foreclosures. Turning the television off and closing the daily newspaper barely helps in tuning out the bleak news of the day. Potential layoffs serve as the normal topic of conversation around the water cooler. Going to work each day feels eerily similar to Survivor, as no one knows who will be next to ‘get voted off the island’ with a pink slip.

In these chaotic times, it appears that every CEO hopes the suits in Washington will drop a huge bag of cash in their lap. Automobile executives are even willing to go as far as carpooling in an El Camino if that means more money gets thrown their way. No wonder they believe this tactic works as the government seems to be tossing money in the sky hoping that it will solve our country’s financial woes. Many do not realize that President Obama considers rapper Fat Joe as one of his most trusted economical advisors as the bailout plan is akin to “Making It Rain.”

Forget about Wells Fargo, Citigroup and Bank of America. Those big boys of banking can handle their own. What about us little guys? My question to members of Congress is when should I expect my piece of the bailout money to protect the stability of my Love Bank?

In his book His Needs Her Needs, Willard F. Hailey Jr. says there is a “love bank” inside every marriage relationship. It is one way we track how the other is treating us. Whether we realize it or not, all of our actions impact the love present in your relationship both positively and negatively. You are either depositing love units to boost your balance or withdrawing them when you do something hurtful, insensitive or just plain stupid. If you hit a certain threshold through constant deposits, feelings of love are produced and sustained.

The problem arises when you withdraw more than you deposit. Like the majority of Americans, I went a little crazy with the spending and swiping of the credit card. I kept putting making payments while I kept charging away. It wasn’t until my Love Bank debit card was shredded when I headed to the ATM machine that I knew I was in my own little financial crisis. Thanks to some bad bookkeeping on my part, I often fail to realize when the balances are hovering dangerously low. Unfortunately, the Love Bank is far from FDIC insured and does not offer Online Banking. Luckily, I did come across a list of some of their fees and payouts. I wanted to share a few of them with you all tonight in hopes that knowing them might bailout another poor soul:

5 Units Taking out the trash, doing the dishes, folding laundry

-5 Units When you mention to your wife you took out the trash, did the dishes and folded the laundry

10 Units Tending to your crying child in the mild of the night so your wife can sleep

-15 Units Making sure you stomp up the stairs and hit each step along the way to your crying child’s room

15 Units Suggesting you get a babysitter and go to the movies

-20 Units Insist on seeing “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and having your wife ask for a refund

35 Units Preparing a candlelight dinner with goose as the main course

-5 Units Goosing your wife as she does the dishes after the meal

45 Units Telling your wife how beautiful she looks before heading off to work

-50 Units Commenting under your breath (but loud enough for her to hear) “Wow, she’s hot” as Jennifer Aniston graces the TV screen while you’re watching the Oscars

100 Units Taking your wife on a romantic weekend get-a-way

-25 Units Leaving the suitcase full of laundry at the bottom of the stairs for your wife to deal with when you get home

1,000 Units Being by your wife’s side in support as she gives birth to your child

-300 Units Having your wife pick you up from work while she is in labor and drive herself to the hospital (unfortunately, this one did happen…long story).

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1 Comment »

  1. good stuff tony. would write a better comment but ezra is sitting on my other hand.

    Comment by Mackenzie Foust — February 24, 2009 @ 3:17 pm


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