This Hungry Man Made A Mean Cuisine In 4 Minutes Or Less

Chalk one up for the soon to be domesticated dad. Last night I prepared a cuisine of epic proportions for my two little girls. They partook in a royal feast fit for a princess. If only I had the digital camera set to capture their ecstatic faces when I showed them an example of what they were having for dinner. Even with a wide-angle lens it would have been challenging to fit those grins that went from ear to ear inside the frame.

Jumping for joy, dancing on the ceiling, raising a ruckus or giving mad props to their pops. Pick whatever expression you want. All I know is this is a drastic change from standard operating procedure. Normally, we have to pry them away from their toys or coloring book and plop them down at the kitchen table if we have any chance of them eating.

Maddie and Paige’s tendency to stare at their plates, push their food around with their sporks and say, “no, I don’t want to…” has nothing to do with their mom’s cooking. The truth is Jenn is an amazing cook and this isn’t even a cheap ploy to earn brownie points in hopes of her whipping up a batch of those delicious chocolate treats later. But, if she by chance is reading this I wouldn’t be opposed to you ‘Betty Crocker’ing’ up.

Italian, Mexican, French or even the cuisine God himself blesses: southern barbeque. These cuisines don’t grab our girls’ attention or open up the hanger to ensure the food airplane has a safe landing.  The culture of those cuisines is grounded here on earth while what I made last night was a meal that is out of this world. There really is no comparison. It is the cuisine to end all cuisine for those twelve years or younger. The name says it all: Kid’s Cuisine.

When a kid hears that the dish was made for the stars of Monsters vs. Aliens they begin to salivate. Somewhere in the midst of those 600mg of sodium, 3.5g of saturated fat and 12g of sugar are special preservatives that mess with the youngster’s mind. Apparently, children only believe there is one food group and that is of the starch variety. The menu included a turkey corn dog, yellow corn and fries.

With their bellies bogged down by all those carbs, they break out of their carbohydrate comatose through chocolate pudding and sprinkles. Now, thanks to their sugar high they’re back to their normal selves of bouncing off the walls and couch diving while watching Little Mermaid for the 2,567^th time. But, what really matters is that their daddy is one step closer to domestication by mastering the microwave.