My life up to this point has had its fair share of awkward moments. Take for instance the day in 7th grade when I wasn’t paying attention and walked straight into the wrong bathroom. Or what about the time while in the crowded mall I came up behind my wife and gave her a cozy hug only to find out from the slap in the face I had suffered a bad case of mistake identity. Then there was the time I fell in a six-foot ditch after being chased by a pack of wild geese while on vacation.
Some would say that my luck, or lack thereof, is on par with Greg Focker from Meet The Parents. One of the reasons I trust Jenn and I are meant to be together is due to the fact it required a miracle from the God for this to take place after the wealth of awkward experiences that occurred while getting to know my in-laws. The summer after graduating college I spent out in Carmel, California where Jenn grew up.
This domesticated city boy looked really out of place during the family camping trip. The level of discomfort was taken up a notch when my tiny bladder decided to act up causing me to spend the majority of time in the state park restroom. A few weeks later Jenn and I were settling down to watch a movie when her parents decided they weren’t tired and instead staid up and joined us. The movie we watched this evening just happened to be Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. I do not remember much of this Rob Schneider movie masterpiece because my hands were glued to my face the entire time out of shear embarrassment. There were probably other moments that summer that were on par with this, but I have attempted my best to erase then from my memory.
As awkward as all of these moments might be, nothing compares to the painful interaction I witnessed last night. It was a train wreck of epic proportions. Even though I wanted to divert my eyes, I never mustered enough strength to change the channel. Like most of America, I remained on the edge of my seat befuddled at what I was watching wondering if reality television had finally reached the breaking point of bad taste. The dirty moment that made me want to go take a shower was none other than The Bachelor: After The Final Rose.
After losing interest in Heroes, I flipped over to watch The Bachelor (Jason Mesnick) give an engagement ring to Melissa. At first, it appeared much like previous seasons where the two cuddled and kissed as the credits ran. I went to go mark my calendar for a year from now so I could be sure to catch the TMZ episode that would report the couple destined to be together sent out press release through their agent saying they decided to part ways and were now “just friends.” Before I could even put the pen to paper, Jenn was urging me to get back in here.
What I then proceed to watch for the next hour made me feel completely uncomfortable. I kept asking myself if this was actually happening. This has to be scripted, didn’t it? If I could sense the awkwardness emanating from the television screen, I cannot imagine what Melissa went through in real time. I mean how do you respond to your fiancé when he says, “yeah, I think I am going to need that rose and ring back from you?” I guess when your on primetime television you use the word Melissa uttered that rhymes with dastard.
Only six weeks after proposing to Melissa, Jason had a change of heart and decided to see if runner-up Molly wanted to grab “coffee or something.” Talk about being a flip flopper. How is it possible that he couldn’t make up his mind after devoting his entire focus to finding a mate from 25 eligible women? And to think I thought I struggled with being indecisive.
Every month so far I have enlisted the help of a few people to hold me accountable about changing my behavior and attitude. The first 30 days of becoming a man I relied on the strength from the guys in my small group. I sought the wisdom of outgoing people who were comfortable being in a crowd to get over being socially stunted. Last month involved reading articles from relationship experts and asking advice from husbands in strong marriages I admire. Knowing I wouldn’t hear the end of it from Jenn’s friends if I dropped the ball also kept me on my best behavior. Needless to say, the flip-flopping Bachelor will not be on my board of advisors for this month’s focus.