Curing 30 Years One Month At A Time

May 21, 2009

Let The Great American Idol Debate Begin: Upset, Shocker or Travesty?

Headline-RedLight_1Just in case you were wondering, there are twelve traffic lights between my house and where my daughter attends preschool. How do I know this random piece of information you might ask? Defying all odds and probability, I had the opportunity today to count each one as I waited for them to turn from red to green. A trip that normally takes 10 minutes max winded up being a 20-minute fiasco.

I wasn’t fazed by the first red light. Didn’t pay much attention to the second one. Numbers 3-5 made me chuckle. Yet, after that, I found myself progressively getting angrier at each stop: 7th (slamming the top of steering wheel), 9th (veins begin popping on my neck), 10th (nervous eye twitch), 11th (foaming at the mouth) and finally number 12 (turning bright red with steam coming out of both ears like one of those crazy cartoon characters).

In honor of my disdain for traffic lights and the need to work on my anger issues, I took a moment to reflect on other things that get my blood boiling. Here are a few I came up with:

 

  • When Facebook pushes their religious agenda on me. As much as I appreciate your attempts to get me right with the big guy upstairs, stop trying to convince me that I should be a fan of God. Ditto on bubble wrap and Larry the Cable Guy.
  • heelysKids who go skating past me at the mall on Heelys while their parents are too busy stuffing their face with a Wetzel Pretzel to notice the accidents their kid is causing. Anytime I hear those wheels whizzing behind me I have to fight the urge not to pull a Donald Brashear (one of the best hockey goons of all time for those non-sports fans) and check their head into the glass display at Pac-Sun.
  • When the remote control runs out of batteries and I find myself stuck on C-SPAN.
  • Being told I am anti-social by individuals who just happen to like the sound of their own voice. Being told I am cynical by people who are always sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. I would never tell you this, but the glass will always be half empty. 
  • The teenage sister of whichever preschooler introduced Madison to all things Hannah Montana.
  • Rocco doing the pee-pee dance near the door and realizing I will have to walk him in the pouring down rain.
  • Close to 100,000,000 votes being cast to decide the winner of American Idol, but only 56% of people show up to vote for the presidential election.

 

idolInternet Land is already abuzz over the travesty that took place tonight when Adam “Sir Screeh A lot” Lambert was denied his rightful crown of American Idol. The anger will be displayed in various forms like wailing, the gnashing of teeth and tearing of clothes. It is only a matter of time before some bozo will inevitably go on a hunger strike until the decision is reversed.

Remember, a few years back during the 3rd season of Idol when the world was going to end when your “can’t miss” choice lost as well. You know…what’s his name or was it a girl, I can’t remember. That’s my point. People get up in arms over the most random, trivial and insignificant things. Myself included. At the same time, war, genocide and famine are taking place and, if we are being honest, we really could care less. Everywhere you look in the world there are injustices taking place:

 

  • CHINA POVERTYOver 33 million people are dealing with AIDS
  • 1.4 billion people (a quarter of the developing world) find themselves living in extreme poverty of less than $1.25 a day.
  • 40,000 children die every day from malnutrition, starvation and hunger related diseases.
  • One of the fastest growing segments of the homeless population is family with children.
  • In 2006, over 9,000 hate crimes took place in the United States.
  • Every 2 minutes someone in the United States is sexually assaulted.

 

If I am too lazy to get up off the couch when the batteries in the remote go dead, it should come as no surprise that I haven’t felt compelled to move to evoke change in the world. I sit on the sidelines in silence not speaking up for people who have no voice. Maybe instead of trying to tame my anger, I should harness it to focus on issues that really matter. Anger with purpose.

January 13, 2009

If You Were Really My Brother You’d Tell Me I Am The William Hung Of Personal Growth

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — 30tocure30 @ 10:18 pm

 

The man, the myth, the legend

The man, the myth, the legend

In the midst of the doom and gloom concerning the financial crisis, the nation has been crying out for some hope. With house foreclosures on the rise, people losing their jobs left and right and 401K’s disappearing into thin air, America is looking for something to lift their spirits. They are wondering in the midst of this upside down world if there is anything left that is pure and right.

Well, lift up your eyes my friends for your day of jubilee has come. Direct your gaze to the Fox channel where tonight Season 8 begins of the American Idol franchise. Randy “Did I ever tell you I worked with Mariah Carey” Jackson, Paula “I swear there isn’t booze in my Coke cup” Abdul and Simon “I only own s-medium black t-shirts” Cowell are here to rescue us from our pit of despair.

Attention Obama, this is the real hope our nation desperately needs. Maybe not hope, but at least another topic to discuss around the water cooler. Thousands of people camped out all across America for days just to be packed in a crowded stadium in hopes of getting their big break in the music industry. For every Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood there are thousands of William Hung or Renaldo Lapuz (you are my brother) auditioning. As we tune in, our cynical side hopes we will witness fools in wizard garb, giant banana suits or cheerleading outfits butchering “I Will Always Love You” worse than Whitney would after a night partying with Bobby Brown.

Somehow these performances are so brutal they are good. I’m convinced that the pitch problems they experience have special hypnotic powers. It tricks them into thinking they actually have talent. I realize there are those people who are just looking for their 15 minutes of fame, but the majority of hacks seriously believe they have the pipes to make it to Hollywood.

When they get laughed out of the audition room, there is genuine shock at the response from the judges. This reaction tells us two things: they have never been in touch with reality and are hobbits that live a life of isolation. True friends would never let them get anywhere close to the Idol audition room let alone a karaoke club in a deaf community center. It boggles my mind that no one had the courage to speak up and set them straight.

Okay, that is not entirely true. My social stunted disorder has kept me from opening my mouth when I watch my friends make stupid mistakes, go down rocky roads that lead to danger or struggle with integrity. Why did I hold back? Fear of how they would react. The possibility of losing a friendship was something I couldn’t leave up to chance. Weak excuse I know, but it is the truth. If I was foolish enough to call them out, there was a strong possibility they would return the favor. Not wanting to deal with all my junk I settled for status quo. Granted, this means when it comes to personal growth I am at the “She Bangs” William Hung level flying by the seat of my pants with no professional training. But, I am hoping I can capture America’s heart with my off key performance.

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