Curing 30 Years One Month At A Time

April 18, 2009

Looks Like I’m Adding A Few More Things To My ‘Honey Do’ List

Filed under: domesticated — Tags: , , , , , , — 30tocure30 @ 10:31 pm

The following post is written by my beautiful wife, Jenn: 

Here we are two thirds of the way through April and I thought I’d take the chance to weigh in on Tony’s quest to become a Domesticated Dude.  First, let me say that I do not think that he is undomesticated, like a stray cat.  He puts his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, usually puts the toilet seat down and is fully capable of taking care of our girls.  Actually, there is a lot around the house that he can and does do.  Sometimes he fumbles through the tasks at hand and sometimes he sails right on past and on to the next thing.

Life around our house is busy.  Our two-year-old Paige is a crazy, climbing wonder.  She is kind of like a little super hero that climbs on, swings from or flips over anything she can find, stack or otherwise manipulate into a springboard for her imagination.  She is always trying to” save the day” or at least entertain you until you forget that you were about to tell her to stop tearing the couches apart or not to jump onto the coffee table.

kids-hand-messy-art-project1Maddie on the other hand is our budding artist.  Whatever she can cut, color or paste together she will.  It’s not unusual to walk into the dining room to find a plethora of masterpieces strewn around the table or taped to windows of our French doors.   Most of the time there are snippets of paper littered beneath her chair.  For her to create what she sees in her minds eye is freeing… and quiet messy! 
All of this to say, our life with kids isn’t exactly what we thought it would be.  We knew that they required a lot of stuff but we weren’t exactly prepared for the mess they leave in their wake as they bounce around exploring their worlds. 

We wouldn’t trade it for anything but it does require us to adjust our expectations and priorities for cleaning.  No longer is the order of our CD’s of utmost importance or whether the spines of the books on the bookshelf are all even with the edge of each shelf. 

I would like to say that Tony’s journey to domestication is definitely a transition to seeing our world a little differently and being ok with the fact that our kids personalities definitely challenge us in all areas, including the domestic arena.

I think Tony does a great job in a lot of areas so he is well on his way to becoming domesticated:

  • I love the fact that Tony is not afraid to conquer the bathrooms.  Thank you to the summers of working Conference Services at Messiah College.  When he is done, the toilet bowl shines.  I’m not sure if there is anyone out there that loves cleaning toilets.  I appreciate his willingness to do it though.fotolia5948038xs-main_full
  • He takes care of our girls fabulously.  When I get home from an evening out, they are sound asleep in their beds, fully bellies, bathed, teeth brushed and bible story, song and prayers done.  They think he hangs the moon and it’s the sweetest thing ever.
  • Tony does the laundry and even irons his clothes.  I love that about him!  Especially when he worked at Wachovia while I stayed home with the girls.  Taking his shirts to get cleaned and pressed was no longer part of the budget but it didn’t fall completely on my shoulders. 

There are several other things he is completely capable of but that is not what this is really about. However, there are a few things I would love to see him learn to do.  If not for the necessity, for the fact that these things would qualify as traits a Domestic Diva possesses.  I would like to take the opportunity to make some suggestions for Tony to think about and maybe try in the last part of the month. So, here we go:

  1. Tony can cook but I’m not sure that popping a Lean Cuisine into the microwave or making Ramen in a coffee pot quiet qualifies as cooking.  Sure, most anybody can boil some water and pour a jar of sauce on top to make spaghetti or stick some Eggos in the toaster and call it brinner (breakfast for dinner.)  But, I would really love it if he learned how to cook one good meal.  It doesn’t have to be fancy it just has to be something he chooses and can do all on his own without me walking him through it step by step.  Ohhh… maybe chocolate chip cookies.  That would be yummy!
  2. Sew a button.  Every Domestic Diva, or Dude, should know how to sew a button back on a shirt of a pair of pants.  Fixing a hem would be nice too… sewing the girls a skirt…that would be hilarious but defiantly do-able.
  3. One more thing… spend a day in my shoes.  Tony is so great at so many ‘domestic things’ even though he probably doesn’t see it.  He has come a long way from the day he moved out of his mamma’s house, that’s for sure!  He is capable of cleaning, taking care of the girls, making something to eat, etc.  But he rarely has to do it all simultaneously.  I’d like to see him give it a try.  I’m confident that he’ll be fine.  But, I’d still like to see him do it. (He probably will only make if half a day before I miss him and the girls too much and I crash his day of domestic duties!)

Tony, you are on your way to Martha Stewart status…lets see you finish strong!

April 16, 2009

This Hungry Man Made A Mean Cuisine In 4 Minutes Or Less

Filed under: domesticated — Tags: , , , — 30tocure30 @ 9:06 pm

tvdinner

Chalk one up for the soon to be domesticated dad. Last night I prepared a cuisine of epic proportions for my two little girls. They partook in a royal feast fit for a princess. If only I had the digital camera set to capture their ecstatic faces when I showed them an example of what they were having for dinner. Even with a wide-angle lens it would have been challenging to fit those grins that went from ear to ear inside the frame.

Jumping for joy, dancing on the ceiling, raising a ruckus or giving mad props to their pops. Pick whatever expression you want. All I know is this is a drastic change from standard operating procedure. Normally, we have to pry them away from their toys or coloring book and plop them down at the kitchen table if we have any chance of them eating.

Maddie and Paige’s tendency to stare at their plates, push their food around with their sporks and say, “no, I don’t want to…” has nothing to do with their mom’s cooking. The truth is Jenn is an amazing cook and this isn’t even a cheap ploy to earn brownie points in hopes of her whipping up a batch of those delicious chocolate treats later. But, if she by chance is reading this I wouldn’t be opposed to you ‘Betty Crocker’ing’ up.

Italian, Mexican, French or even the cuisine God himself blesses: southern barbeque. These cuisines don’t grab our girls’ attention or open up the hanger to ensure the food airplane has a safe landing.  The culture of those cuisines is grounded here on earth while what I made last night was a meal that is out of this world. There really is no comparison. It is the cuisine to end all cuisine for those twelve years or younger. The name says it all: Kid’s Cuisine.

mva_nuggetsWhen a kid hears that the dish was made for the stars of Monsters vs. Aliens they begin to salivate. Somewhere in the midst of those 600mg of sodium, 3.5g of saturated fat and 12g of sugar are special preservatives that mess with the youngster’s mind. Apparently, children only believe there is one food group and that is of the starch variety. The menu included a turkey corn dog, yellow corn and fries.

With their bellies bogged down by all those carbs, they break out of their carbohydrate comatose through chocolate pudding and sprinkles. Now, thanks to their sugar high they’re back to their normal selves of bouncing off the walls and couch diving while watching Little Mermaid for the 2,567th time. But, what really matters is that their daddy is one step closer to domestication by mastering the microwave. 

April 2, 2009

The Mismatched Socks Have Spoken: Time To Turn This Domestic Dud Into A Domestic Dude

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — 30tocure30 @ 10:38 pm

 

Most Men Fear The Iron...

Most Men Fear The Iron...

Running frantically down the hallway I bump into a few of my issues and regrets that are making a B-Line to the exit doors. I know I am a little late, but why are they out of the classroom? Trying to figure out the exact time, I reach into my pants pocket for my cell phone, but it is nowhere to be found.

Then it hits me; in my rush to get out the door this morning I forgot to grab them from my other pair of slacks along with my wallet. I guess lunch will consist of me feasting on leftover ketchup and mustard packets from the teacher’s lounge.

Entering the classroom I realize that I’m twenty minutes late and few of the issues decided to stick around to see if I would actually show. Before I can even start today’s lesson, the regrets that are sitting in their seats begin to chuckle. Cynical side raises his hand while attempting to hold back laughter.

 

Cynical Side: “I am sorry teach, but I have to ask: what is going on? Did you dress yourself in the dark? You look like a hot mess.”

Me: “Sorry, I slept through the alarm clock. Jenn and the girls went to visit her folks out west and I’ve been bacheloring it up for the past week. I think I am doing okay.”

Cynical Side: “Yes, if by okay you mean wearing a wrinkled shirt with an imprint of an iron on it, mismatched socks and jeans where you can play connect the dots with the stains then yes you are doing an amazing job. Let me guess…you are wearing used boxers.”

Me: “In my book if you flip them inside out, they’re brand new.”

Cynical Side: “I feel for you teach. It must be hard to find time to clean clothes and do other chores while you sit on the couch watching reruns of Scrubs as you eat McDonald’s for the 4th night in a row.”

Me: “Wait a second, I actually made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich one night and I whipped up something this morning: Pop Tarts. I like to call it the breakfast of champions. And as far as the laundry goes I still haven’t figured out if the washing machine has the door on the side or on top. It is very confusing if you ask me.”

Cynical Side: “That’s a Pop Tart? Wow, I thought it was…. well I wasn’t really sure. I just know it smells like burnt tires. Look, all of the issues and regrets eventually want our time in the spotlight, but some things are bigger than us. You know what you need to focus on this month.”

Me: “I think you’re right.”

 

So, I guess it appears that for the next month it is going to be:

30 Days To Go From Domestic Dud To Domestic Dude

 

Breakdown Of Reader’s Vote (66 Total Votes)

Domestic Dud To Domestic Dude (22)

Obsession With The Scale (18)

Cynical Side (14)

Anger (10)

Other/Reader’s Choice (2)

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