Looks Can Be Deceiving
Come nine months from now, there will be a new addition to the Ripa household. Hopefully the world is ready for it because a mini-me is on the way. That’s right; Jenn has a bun in the oven, a pea in her pod and finds herself in the family way. Plain and simple, her eggo is preggo and I have the pregnancy test to prove it.
Before my mother has a massive heart attack, I should reassure her and everyone else that we are in fact ‘without child’ even though there was a fifteen minute stretch where I wasn’t so sure thanks to an elaborate April Fool’s joke orchestrated by Jenn. Yes, mom you can blame for your rise in blood pressure. Now you may be wondering how I got duped. Let me explain how your sweet and innocent daughter-in-law played me for a fool.
The night was going along as usual. We had finished up dinner and were taking the kids upstairs for a bath when Jenn asked if I would grab their shampoo and soap from our bathroom. Thinking nothing of it, I pick up the necessary bathing products and turn around when I notice something on the sink. No….it can’t be what I think it is. Why would there be a pregnancy test sitting on our bathroom counter. I took a closer look to see if it had been used. And, what the heck… it’s positive?!? How in the world?
Back upstairs I go with the soap and shampoo wondering what just happened. When I got upstairs, I stopped in the doorway of the bathroom and looked at Jenn, who smiled back at me when I asked her if I just saw what I think I saw. She said yes, it was true: there was a positive test downstairs. In disbelief I gave her the shampoo, stared into the mirror for a good long minute, hung my head and began to feel a little dizzy. I kept asking Jenn and myself if this was really happening. I sat down on the floor, put my head between my knees and breathed.
It is what it is. I mean, we’ve been careful and responsible and if this is what God has decided for our family, then so be it. But, is this really happening? Jenn insisted that it was true. How can you argue with a positive pregnancy test she asked. She said she was as surprised as I was but that it makes sense since she has been feeling slightly nauseated and exhausted for the last week and a half. I have to say, I was surprised but then again, I guess it made sense.
So, still in shock I sat on the floor just outside the bathroom. Jenn climbed into my lap, I gave her a kiss and she said to me, “So, I guess you should update your Facebook status… Asheley is pregnant.” And then she laughs. She got me! Asheley is our good friend who is pregnant with her fourth child. Apparently, Jenn and Ash got together this morning and Ash helped her out with her conspiracy to play the April Fools joke on me. Nice one, Ash.
Funny how this all took place the same night when I was trying to figure out how to sum up these past 30 days of attempting to cure my indecisiveness. The more elaborate the prank the greater commitment it requires. You have to be decisive in your delivery. There can be no second-guessing your decision. When you go for it you have to be completely sure this is something you want to do. Jenn hadn’t the slightest clue of how I would react, but that didn’t affect her in the least bit. Ash peed on a stick and dog gone it Jenn was going to pull off one of the greatest pranks ever. Well done, my love, well done.
Curing 30 Years One Month At A Time 